Corn on the Run

Life, the Universe, Everything

925 notes

In the end, Captain America does not make the heroic sacrifice, thus further proving that Black Widow can handle the emotional weight of being a lead character. As if anyone could really forget the most quoted line in “The Avengers” — “I’ve got red in my ledger; I’d like to wipe it out” — it helps to have that line fresh in your mind when deconstructing what Widow does in the final act of what’s billed as a Captain America movie. Black Widow doesn’t wipe out the red in her ledger. No, she blasts her ledger out to the world, like it was the grisliest email forward of all time. We know from her heart to heart with Hawkeye that the shame she feels about what she’s done is real, and she hesitates when she realizes that taking down the bad guys means revealing her secrets. But she does it anyway, because she’s not just a spy anymore; she’s a super hero, and she makes a super hero’s sacrifice.
x (via jediemma)

(via chaoticallyclev)

Filed under catws catws spoilers black widow giver her her own movie now please

9,975 notes

nonasuch:

additionally, I CANNOT GET OVER Steve’s fucking Sadness Errands that he keeps running around DC, like, his schedule literally goes

6 AM: jogging

7:15: unburden soul to total stranger, lacking better options

3 PM: visit own museum exhibit to stare at the Dead Best Friend Wall

4:30: attempt meaningful human connection with sole surviving contemporary; fail due to Alzheimer’s

6 PM: dinner for one

7 PM: contemplate own loneliness, probably

(via ifeelbetterer)

Filed under catws

5,146 notes

But what made the [How I Met Your Mother] pilot pop, what made it seem smart and nuanced and surprisingly philosophical, was the closing moment when a “cute guy meets cute girl” story concluded with the narrator, the man telling the story of How He Met Your Mother, saying that this cute girl was not the mother. This was how he met “Aunt Robin.” He’d get to the mother later.

This was a move legitimately subversive of a rule that television knows all too well: The answer to “will they or won’t they?” is always “they will,” and that’s why we’re all here. Knowing that Ted did not wind up with Robin, but wound up with someone else — but still remained close enough to Robin that his kids addressed her as “Aunt Robin” — said something different. It said, “You know what? They won’t. But don’t leave yet.” It said that there is value in stories about things that don’t work out, and value in romances that end. Everyone matters, everything is important, everything fits together and makes a whole life.

The series finale revealed that to the degree this is what the show seemed to be saying, the joke was on you. It was a nine-year-long con (as James Poniewozik put it) that fooled you into thinking it wasn’t running on an engine of total cliche when — psych! — it totally was. Because it turned out that of course Ted wasn’t really saying everything matters, that your whole life is important, that you can still love people even if you don’t end up with them, that the good pieces and the bad pieces and the ups and the downs were all part of the story of how you wound up in the right place.

No, he was telling this whole story because he was in denial, and he spoke about the sad and happy moments of his life for nine seasons so that his teenage children could tell him to get over their dead mother and go after their aunt. (As the teenage children of widowed parents always do in this blithe, go-get-‘em-tiger kind of way, in Bizarro World.)

And so he did. He went and gave himself to Robin, whom he’d loved all along. She doesn’t matter because they’d loved each other and that always means something; she matters because he’s still in love with her and now they can kiss. She never wanted kids, but apparently she now wants to be a stepparent to Ted’s kids, something something mumble mumble what was this character about again?

So it was all a trick — they will after all! The end.

That’s not to even mention the other things that went wrong in the finale: The marriage of Robin and Barney, which the show spent its entire final season on, was dismissed with a sort of hand-wave of “she traveled a lot and it didn’t work out” so that Robin would be free for Ted’s destiny to be fulfilled later. The embrace of Barney as a selfish jerk seemed to be the part of its original DNA to which the show would remain true, but then — psych! — he had a baby with a woman he barely knew and we never saw, and it made him nice and domesticated. Neil Patrick Harris played the heck out of the scene where Barney falls in love with the baby, but it still didn’t make any kind of sense, nor did it resonate with anything else that had happened in the show up to that point.

Perhaps worst of all, the fine work of Cristin Milioti as the mother across the final season was wasted as it turned out she was, within the show’s structure, merely a piece of the great love story of Ted and Robin, and died of Unspecified Sad Hospital-Bed-itis so that their romantic balcony scene could happen.

"It’s the journey and not the destination" is usually the right way to look at series finales, a disturbing number of which don’t stick the landing. The problem with this one in particular is that the relationship between the journey and the destination was the show’s animating principle. That Ted was on a journey that was not about Robin was the first interesting thing the show ever said.

Linda Holmes, “Oh, ‘Mother’: An Awful End To A Long Love Story” (via lesserjoke)

(via obsessiforge)

Filed under himym still angry about the finale

0 notes

Come on. My plane leave in two hours.

All stories that utter this line loose me.

No fucking way in hell are you making it onto that flight fucker. You still have to make it to the airport, check your shit, go through security, and find your gate. Unless you are flying out of the majestic treasure that is Bob Hope International Airport. Rrrrybody knows you need to be at the airport now.

Maybe, somebody got me to the airport hella late once and I literally sprinted to the gate and they closed the doors as I entered i fucking kid you not. I was so angry.

Just. Get to the airport on time everyone. Don’t go on a last minute errand. Don’t try and get your friends back together. Make your flight. Make the TSA have a less shitty day. Make yourself have a less shitty day.

Filed under i don't know why i care so much

0 notes

I was reading this article about skin cancer in Glamour (shut up I fucking love that stupid magazine) and by the end of it I was like I HAVE IT. i have the cancer of the flesh. it is a matter of when not if.

There is such a thing as yearly skin screenings?!

Filed under corn is not good at her own health

27,023 notes

sunbeargirl:

crotchetybushtit:

maatuultulivesi:

does no one realize that robin hood was a terrible role model for young kids? i mean you are stealing from people (illegal) and those people (usually) worked hard to get their wealth. it really demotivates people to succeed when they know they can get something someone else worked for.

is this what rich people worry about lmao

who knew the sheriff of nottingham had a blog

Dude. I would argue the aristocracy in Robin Hood did not work for their wealth. 

(via skeletree)

Filed under i'm not certain when that story is supposed to take place but unless it is in the hella fuedal times where kinds ended up serving knights because feudalism is crazy weird.